Fog

The thick fog of illness is being lifted somewhat, just leaving a thin haze behind.

You know, when you feel like everything is fuzzy and you can't really see from one moment to the next. All you try to do is survive, so you can break into the light eventually? Everything gets put on hold, laundry forms mountains and all that really gets accomplished is basic needs. You just lay in bed, occasionally sipping clear liquids, and sleeping. Rarely do you get up for anything but the bathroom.

Eventually you can focus enough to watch television, but nothing that requires thinking too much. Reading is out of the question. It is too laborious, and that is saying a lot for someone who prefers a book to almost anything else. Little by little, there are breaks in the heavy mist and you can imagine being vertical again.

I've spent the last few days watching way too much HGTV and daydreaming about the day when my furniture is not from the early ancestral period. I've also convinced myself that I am Canadian, and not a European mutt like my genealogy describes. Everything Sarah Richardson and Candice Olson does is pure genius and I have thought so for years. It was kind of like getting to store up a design feast on my DVR and have Thanksgiving Day, instead of a late night nibble here and there when I had the time ;)

Cole is starting to come around. He has more strength, but still just wants to lay around watching TV all day. He is eating a little, enjoying this new freedom of being off the diet. The doctors suggested we take him off and just concentrate on controlling his diarrhea for now. So, he is having a great time with food on demand. Such a new concept for him. He's loving the experience of being able to have as many saltines as his little heart desires, and all flavors of sugar-free jello. Oy, it is going to be hard to go back to the scale.

His g tube has been bleeding a lot, and has formed granulation tissue for the first time in months. It has us slightly worried and we are waiting to hear from the doc about what to do. It was a little loose after losing weight, but it has never just started to pour blood since the actual surgery. He is full of surprises and keeps us on our toes!

Hopefully we can get healthy enough to try and take him out to the backyard for a couple of hours. The weather has been gorgeous today (so we hear), but we just stood in the doorway and watched the squirrels. It is going to start to rain again tonight, but it is forecasted to be nice again next week. I guess April showers really do bring May flowers out here. Usually we are used to still having snow on the driveway! Maybe I'll ask for wellies for my birthday.