Press Forward

Mixed reviews on the last post. It wasn't necessarily a cry for help. I just have been reflecting on how different I am from the person I once was. It doesn't mean that I haven't embraced this life, it's just different. I used to be clean, social, etc, etc.There has been a paradigm shift and my priorities are not the same now. Having an organized house, perfect yard and dinner parties doesn't happen at this time. Doesn't mean that it won't happen again, just not right now. Things are always changing ;) Right now what is important is taking the best care of Cole as possible.

My sisters spontaneously showed up this week to surprise my dad for his birthday. That would have been awesome to be a part of. It just couldn't happen. I'm already organizing things for October's travel. Spontaneous things, while fun and exciting, are a thing of the past. At least spontaneous things that require airplanes.

However, we can still try our hardest to inject some fun into our little world. It may not work, but at least we have to press forward and try. Cole had his first seizure in public this week where we did not go home immediately afterwards. I needed a rockin' dress for Easter/family wedding/turning 29 again. I hate shopping for dresses alone and Brian actually likes to shop with me. Plus, he likes to buy me shoes. A couple little bonuses! ;) We decided to be brave and hit up an outlet mall that is about 25 minutes away. I was so ready to get out of the house and Cole seemed excited. Of course, when we were gathering things to leave, he asked if we were going to see the doctor.

Cole started seizing about 20 minutes into the hunt. Brian ran into the ladies dressing room and knocked on my door, telling me that he needed my help. It's a good thing I was dressed, just not in my clothes. We laid Cole on the ground in the corner, in the midst of displays of shorts and sweaters, and gave him Diastat. Brian ran like crazy to the car to get the oxygen because his sats were 54. It was hard and fast. Probably about 5 minutes total, but a complete unconscious tonic clonic. A sweet salesperson was concerned and tried to be helpful. I was, after all, kneeling on the ground in a silk ikat number that I had not paid for ;) Cole perked up quick and Bri headed out to the car with him after he reassured me that he could handle it and to just come when I could. I told him I would just buy what I had on and would meet him out there. I ran back to the dressing room, changed and got in line. To my surprise, he came back in as I was paying, informing me that Cole had requested he, "Go find Momma" and wanted to walk. I got my stuff, and told everyone we were leaving. Cole decided that he wanted to play in the cool car strollers they had available and Brian told me that we might as well take advantage of the shops while we were there. So, we stayed for 45 more minutes (and got some killer snakeskin heels). The entire time I was asking Cole how he was doing, but a little Valium would make anyone feel better. It was surreal, but we proved to ourselves that we can have a traumatic seizure in public and move on through it, together. Now, I'm not saying that we are ready to go to a theme park or anything, but it was a big moment for us as a little family.

*Aren't you proud? A whole post without a single mention of bodily fluids! I can't promise anything for the future ones ;)*