I Almost *Shanked A Pharmacy Tech...

So, I wouldn't be that great in prison. I've been in contact with my share of ex-cons and juvenile delinquents though (for my work).

Regardless, working with others that had a totally different vernacular and life story, also taught me that I could make a weapon out of anything. So I can speak gansta and be creative! It also encouraged me to learn a little Brazilian martial arts. Totally going off of the story, but ask me to show you Mata Leao some day.

Coming back around to me looking in my purse for something to harm the unassuming Walgreens tech with...stay with me.

Cole has been in a bit of a funk lately and we are plowing through rescue meds like it's our job. Usually Daddy is the pharmacy runner, but has been out of town. I kept getting the mommy-instinct prompting to go and get a bunch of refills, as we are completely out of two rescue meds as of yesterday.

Now, I realize that when you show up with 6 scripts, three of which the pharmacy doesn't even carry, you can become one of those customers. Once again I found myself wishing for PCMC. The pharmacy there was awesome, even if they screwed things up from time to time...most pharmacies do. At least they could get my stuff to me the same day usually, because they had it in stock or knew how to make it. Not the case out here in the big city. Hmmm...

I had to take Cole in with me, which was awesome (insert sarcastic tone and eye roll here) and he was totally overstimulated and commenced having small seizures. The tech told me that she would call on two of the scripts to see if she could get another one of their stores to mail it to me, she had never heard of one application, another one was not up yet for refill, and then said that she would work on my other three. Give her 10 minutes. Oh, and that they do not stock catheter tip syringes (which I totally told my DME company..another battle for another day).

I ran around following my very strong three year old and managed to collect some mascara and a spare portable pill crusher on the way. At this point he was having significant seizure activity, so I guided him over to the chairs by the pharmacy. He started to generalize. We had been there for 15 minutes, past her 10 minute mark and had seen three other people get their meds. I almost ran up to the counter and demanded that she throw me the Diastat and I would just pay for it later. I needed it NOW. Lucky for her, I didn't have to get all up in her grill since I had Valium tablets with me. I commenced the crushing, adding water and what not (which is totally not fun when your child's seizure has generalized) and tried to calm the screams of "Ow! Ouchie! Ow! Owie!" I was not even touching him. Lovely. Finally got the tube extension attached, meds flushed and started to just hold him and wait it out. I then fling the diazepam tablets to her to add to the order for good measure. Cole kept slinging his arms about and knocking off the pulse ox. Thank goodness his sats didn't drop too far. I don't think I would have had any help from the desk if I had needed them to go and get the oxygen out of the car.

So, I am sitting there in a corner of Walgreens, obviously having a problem. No one around us said anything. I had it under control, or I would have been recruiting strangers, but come on! By this point, Cole is blind and jerking away in my lap. When his seizure finally slows and his sight comes back, I go right up to the counter. We've been there almost 30 minutes (remember the initial 10 min waiting period?) The tech takes her sweet time and then tells me that she can only give me two vials of Diastat one in each strength, no midalzolam (2 different applications), no carnitor and the diazepam tablets. Good, whatever. I need to leave now. I mentioned that Cole had just had a 10 minute seizure and she looked at me like I was the definition of crazy.

My son does not have a normal post ictal period where he will fall asleep or be calm as his brain tries to re-adjust after the storm...at least the majority of the time he doesn't. The animal inside comes out when he's on drugs. 10 mg of diazepam wakes the inner warrior, so as I am trying to pay and get out of there my toddler is literally scratching at my eyes and screaming at the top of his lungs, "No, Mommy! I go back! It's all done! I go to fridge!" and other random nonsense while thrashing about in my arms. I just looked like I was a bad parent and had an out of control child. Awesome.

We're back home and Cole is slurring his words, climbing all over the couch, randomly bursting into applause and watching Shrek. Just another day in our life. Well, except for the contemplation of creating a shank out of a Diastat acudial. She probably has no idea. Still, don't mess with the little white chick. Quorum.

In other news, I saw fireflies tonight...which was really great!

*Post Edit: Now, now...I do not condone violence in any way. Remember, I would not do well in prison? This was meant to be humorous. I am 100% sure that this tech did not fear for her life while I was there. She probably had no idea the things that I was even going through, since she was in the back the majority of the time trying to fill my order. I am also 100% sure that I would not have had time to whittle an acudial to a point, while taking care of a seizing child. Sarcasm, it is a weakness. I am not really going to murder or harm anyone. Today or any time in the future. Mmkay? Okay! :)