Expectations

When I think of the last 18 months or so, I sometimes surprise myself with how far we have come.

I think about the holidays in 2009-2010 and that huge leap of faith we took when we had Cole meet Santa for the first time and how nervous we were about it...and I giggle. I admit it, time and time again I think "I can't do this!" and I prove myself wrong. We have overcome so many hurdles in the last little while, with a long obstacle course still set up on the horizon, but we can do it together.

Sometimes it really helps me to go back and check my archives and remember just how hard (or easy) some things were. At this time last year, we were unpacking. *Happy Anniversary to us! One whole year being DC'ers* We were preparing to change our lives. We had moved clear across the country and had nothing that was familiar. I was so nervous about the flight. It was not easy, but it could have been worse. Cole has since flown 4 other times, to Florida for treatment and home for Christmas.

Cole cried and said that he wanted to "Go home to my house!" for about 3 months, every day. It was heart-breaking every time. Now, he knows our street and can name which house belongs to which neighbor. He loves being home "with my toys" and shows anyone and everyone his kingdom (the basement).

I was really worried about all of the stairs in our home. For a good reason, since Cole has fallen on them and broken his foot. However, going up and down those stairs every day has been awesome physical therapy. When we first moved, Cole could not navigate stairs. He still slid down on his belly at 3 years old and could only get up them with a very laborious one foot, then the next to join it...one foot, then the next kind of process. Now he cruises up and down them like it is second nature. He still can not take a stair without bringing both feet on to it, but hey...progress is progress!

School has totally changed Cole socially. He will now interact with other children. This, is huge. School, is the best thing that has happened to Cole in all of this.

We tried new med combinations, which did not work. Had new presentations of seizures. We had 3 hospitalizations, 5 (I think) visits from the paramedics, 6 ER visits (some without paramedics), 10+ nurses, three casts (on the same leg), one amazing dog and a lot of fun.

I find that our expectations have changed so much in this period. We became brave and started going out in public. We started to stay out, even after seizures. We traveled by car and plane. We stayed home. Holy cow-we actually left him in the care of another person for more than 24 hours! We made friends slowly but surely. I am finding out more and more about myself and the expectations that I had for my life that I did not even fully realize. All in all, I am proud. I am proud of my little man for teaching me so much about achieving and also about accepting whatever comes.